I was never made to be contained

I’ve been reading over my past writings, pouring over the words that have poured out of me over the past nine years.

And I marvel at the way everything has changed, how many phases I have moved through over that time, how transformation has been my only consistency.

I fall in love all over again, with the portions of soul that expressed themselves through my words. I revel in delight at all the versions of myself that live within me.

For I was never meant for certainty, not designed to fit a label, I have never been someone you can easily explain. I have spent most of my life dancing between the dark depths of my soul, and shining my light through my shadow side.

If you were to read my writings, if you were to know my past you would dub me ‘Queen of Contradictions’, ambivalent in nature. You see I found comfort in being both the virgin and the whore, every step I’ve ever made has been in polarity.

So yes, I may forever be as changing as the sea. But would you ever stop loving the moon, even though it constantly changes the tides?

Loving myself came through loving my polarity, owning my contradictions, and revelling in my ambivalence.

For I was never made to be contained.