A woman’s right to change her mind

Nov 13, 2013

I am angry. No I am furious, since when did it become not okay for a woman to change her mind about a man?

My housemate the ‘Domestic Goddess’ is one of the sweetest girls I have ever known. She believes in love, true love and is what one may call a hopeless romantic. When I first met the ‘Relationship Guy’ at Oktoberfest; the ‘Blonde Beauty’ pushed us together and asked for a photo of him kissing me. When he called and asked me on a date the ‘Domestic Goddess’ could not stop going on about how beautiful it would be if we ended up together as we would have a photo of our first kiss.

Men are amazed by her; it’s fascinating to watch it happen. When she first enters the room they cannot help but be astounded by her natural beauty, and once they start talking to her they are completely bewitched by her easy going nature and sweet smile.

They met under the stars at the Deepavali festival. I did not understand her attraction, sure he was a friend of friend with numerous common interests and made her laugh but to me, he was a plant. I tired of what seemed his forced conversation quickly and left him to the ‘Domestic Goddess’ and her smiles.

Two days later at the races I did not see her without him by her side. After a night of lackluster passion she reveals the awkward details over hot chocolates with Frangelico, a ‘Domestic Goddess’ special. “It was unredeemably terrible. I keep doing this, I’m not really physically attracted to him at all, he is just a really nice guy who makes me laugh.” I can see that even talking about this failed interest makes her feel uncomfortable. “You shouldn’t feel bad; you can’t force something if the attraction is not there just because he is a nice guy who makes you laugh.” He invited her to attend an engagement party with him; uneasy about the way he seemed to be rushing things; she messaged him telling him she cannot go and that she just wants to catch up as friends in the future.

Now a week later he has the audacity to claim that she used him, to make her feel guilty, to make her feel bad about herself simply because she wasn’t interested in going on a second date with him.

I am so sick and tired of hearing the old ‘nice guys finish last’ routine. I am so completely bored of hearing ‘I can’t believe she friend-zoned me, I was nothing but nice to her and yet she doesn’t want me, what’s wrong with her?’ .

If a woman is not interested in you it’s not because you’re a nice guy and she wants a jerk it’s because she is not interested in you. If you make a woman feel bad about her decision to not want to date you, if you bad mouth her to others for her personal choice trust me you are not a nice guy. Far from it actually, you are boy who neither deserves the respect or attention that you crave.

Until you can respect a woman’s right to change her mind you will be seen as nothing but a petty child sulking because you can’t have what you want.  

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