A letter to my sister on her 36th birthday.

Oct 22, 2017

Today the sea will reclaim the last earth form of its daughter. 

I could write pages and pages of my love for you, and yet I struggle to write one paragraph on the loss. Some things are too painful to speak about, some words are better left unspoken. 

The sky is grey today my love, and so is my heart. It's as though the whole world is mourning you. I feel you everywhere, I see glimpses of you everywhere. I expect to find you around every corner, I ache to hold you in my arms. 
What is time without you? This unstoppable, unending hurricane of moments rushing by. It's as though the whole earth is running, and I cannot catch my breath to move. 

They tell you grief is an ocean that ebbs and flows, well today that ocean is raging, and I am drowning. 

You always seemed to have one foot in the skies my love, even when you were earthside. 

You held the love of the universe inside of you, everyone fell in love with the galaxies in your smile. 

There will never be another like you in my life, nor would I want there to be. A soul as imperfectly perfect, so consumed with love could never be replaced. 

I see you in everything my darling, you are the wind that tickles my neck, and the waves that envelope me. You are the sand that grounds me, and the fire that warms my soul. 

I wonder, were you called from this life because you knew you could love so much more encompassingly from the other side? 

Was this life on earth too small to contain all that you were, and all that you could have been?

I know you would have never wants my tears, but today my love you will bathe in them anyways. 

So dance around me my angel, in death as you did in life. Until the day the sea too reclaims me as its own, and we can dance together again. 

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