Three more sleeps until Mr Friends-with-benefits is back and my body craves him. Thoughts of his naked body consume my dreams and I find myself counting down the days. I awake to photos of his hard body and instantly want him; Words of what he will do with me stick in my head all day. He does it very well; teasing and playing me enough to keep me interested just as I begin to take a step back he ups his game and leaves me wanting more.
“I only worry he will get feelings for me and I won’t want anything more because I never do, and he will end up getting hurt or hating me like the others.” Folding my clothes I reveal to a mutual friend. “Would it really be the worst thing in the world if he liked you? He is an awesome guy!” I have begun to expect this response now. “Why would I ruin the best sex of my life with a relationship?” His laughter fills the room as he promises to quote me on that.
Have I found myself in the perfect situation? In bed with a man who I find exceedingly attractive, can make me laugh and is absolutely fantastic in bed. Maybe that’s why I fear he will fall for me. That we will somehow break this perfect situation, complicate it feelings and emotions.
I don’t see it breaking though; maybe I hold too much faith in the casual way we can discuss the possibility of sleeping with others but my beliefs are firm and my feelings will not waver.