As my body welcomed back its cyclic nature


with the first bleed after birthing my child, a tidal wave of hormones came. ⁣

Transforming a deep rooted fear into the reality, of a drastic chemical imbalance, triggering intrusive thoughts. ⁣

A state of mind I was once previously intimately familiar with, one I have not faced in years. ⁣

I was once so fearful, of what it would be to mother from a place of pure survival. The dreaded thoughts, of how I could possibly show up for a child, during a time where I struggle to show up for myself. ⁣

And yet there I was, in the midst of a clouded mind, racing thoughts, and devastating lows, discovering the monumental love and adoration I have for my child remained. ⁣

That mothering does not require fullness, mothering does not need complete balance to survive. ⁣

My child does not think I’m less than because on those days I move slower, because on those days, the motto shifts to ‘the only way out is through’. ⁣
My child never required a mother always in her thrive, all he’s ever needed is my presence, is my love. ⁣

So we moved through it together, him with eyes full of adoration, and me with a clouded mind. ⁣

Surrendering to the discomfort of mothering from a place of imbalance, ⁣
and with that surrender, ⁣
finding stable ground. ⁣

⛰⁣

You are not less than, because there are days where you do not feel full. You do not deserve less, because there are days you simply aim to survive. ⁣

You are worthy, in all your phases. You deserve love and respect, in every cycle of your life. ⁣


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